So I am a lifeguard... about Six and a half years ago I spent a long ass intensive week learning everything from how to resusitate a person who's drowned all the way to how to treat someone for anaphylactic shock. I actually started this training without the intention of becoming a lifeguard, it was just something to do during a particularly boring Easter break, but after talking to a number of participants of the course they convinced me it would be a good idea. So I applied to the Magnet Leisure Centre in Maidenhead and was delighted to hear they had spaces and that I was going to be filling one of them.
Thanks to major scare tactics during my training I was thinking that I was going to be saving people all the time, diving in and out of the water constantly bringing people back from the brink of death with water spluttering out of their mouths like in the movies. I was so sure of this that for my first few shifts I even took a spare change of uniform thinking that I could change out of my heroic wet clothes and carry on my shift in comfort!
I still remember how nervous I was on my first shift, it didn't help the fact that I was basically thrown in at the deep end (if you will pardon the unintentional swimming pun) and essentially left on my own to life guard the leisure pool at the magnet. It was after getting up on to the famous lifeguard style chair that it dawned on me how big the pool seemed, how tall the chair was and how many people 30 people actually is to watch at one time! I was sitting on the edge of my seat my head twisting and turning like a bloody owl to any sound or splash. I was convinced that every yelp from a child was a cry for help and that every time someone put their head under the water they were not going to come back up again!
After my first hour on poolside I was very disappointed but also slightly relieved that I was still dry and did not have to go in this time, but in a while I would be back on poolside again, surely this time I would have to save someone!
My next time came and went, my next shift came and went, my first week also passed with no incident, I was sure that this must have been some form of record for the Magnet and that it would surely happen soon! But then the months started passing with nothing and then finally when the years started passing I was becoming less and less convinced that I was going to have to do something!
There was one shift I will never forget though... I had been at the Magnet about a month or so, when I was coming off poolside putting my shoes back on there was a call on the Radio that a "first aider was needed in the Body Zone" (the name of the gym at the Magnet). This was it I thought... my chance to shine! I started to sprint up the stairs three or four at a time, when I heard a follow up call on the radio, "oh sorry we don't need a first aider any more, it turns out he was asleep" It turned out that the receptionist from the gym had seen what she thought was a collapsed man on the floor, it turned out it was just a man lying down after doing one to many seated rows! That is the closest I've ever come!
I have not even had to deal with a first aid off of poolside either, no broken legs on a squash court or a heart attack from a badminton player.
It is well known fact at the Magnet that you know it is either a very boring or a very hot day when you are sitting on the side of the pool hoping that people drown just so you have something to do or have an excuse to jump in the pool and cool down! The amount of times I have wondered if I could get away with pretending to fall in..? It could happen!
When I first started I thought my whistle was going to be going mental the amount of time I had to blow it to warn my fellow lifeguards that I was 'taking action' and getting in the pool, in reality the only thing I use my whistle for is to stop people having fun. This includes almost anything vaguely fun related such as... standing up on floats, sitting on peoples shoulders or even a little bit of running! Its terrible! I'm not even allowed to swing my whistle any more, I always thought that was a key skill of being a lifeguard but apparently you are not allowed!
After such a long time with no incident it would be easy for me to get all complacent and stop watching or concentrating, it is of course very important that I don't do this, for obvious reasons. The difference is that if most people have a off day at work, they may not get as many figures crunched or words written, essentially no one is going to notice. The day I loose concentration at work someone could die! This keeps me alert I can tell you! Wouldn't it make you?
So sometimes when people as me what I do, I don't say lifeguard any more I say fun disturber its a more accurate job description!
Thanks to major scare tactics during my training I was thinking that I was going to be saving people all the time, diving in and out of the water constantly bringing people back from the brink of death with water spluttering out of their mouths like in the movies. I was so sure of this that for my first few shifts I even took a spare change of uniform thinking that I could change out of my heroic wet clothes and carry on my shift in comfort!
I still remember how nervous I was on my first shift, it didn't help the fact that I was basically thrown in at the deep end (if you will pardon the unintentional swimming pun) and essentially left on my own to life guard the leisure pool at the magnet. It was after getting up on to the famous lifeguard style chair that it dawned on me how big the pool seemed, how tall the chair was and how many people 30 people actually is to watch at one time! I was sitting on the edge of my seat my head twisting and turning like a bloody owl to any sound or splash. I was convinced that every yelp from a child was a cry for help and that every time someone put their head under the water they were not going to come back up again!
After my first hour on poolside I was very disappointed but also slightly relieved that I was still dry and did not have to go in this time, but in a while I would be back on poolside again, surely this time I would have to save someone!
My next time came and went, my next shift came and went, my first week also passed with no incident, I was sure that this must have been some form of record for the Magnet and that it would surely happen soon! But then the months started passing with nothing and then finally when the years started passing I was becoming less and less convinced that I was going to have to do something!
There was one shift I will never forget though... I had been at the Magnet about a month or so, when I was coming off poolside putting my shoes back on there was a call on the Radio that a "first aider was needed in the Body Zone" (the name of the gym at the Magnet). This was it I thought... my chance to shine! I started to sprint up the stairs three or four at a time, when I heard a follow up call on the radio, "oh sorry we don't need a first aider any more, it turns out he was asleep" It turned out that the receptionist from the gym had seen what she thought was a collapsed man on the floor, it turned out it was just a man lying down after doing one to many seated rows! That is the closest I've ever come!
I have not even had to deal with a first aid off of poolside either, no broken legs on a squash court or a heart attack from a badminton player.
It is well known fact at the Magnet that you know it is either a very boring or a very hot day when you are sitting on the side of the pool hoping that people drown just so you have something to do or have an excuse to jump in the pool and cool down! The amount of times I have wondered if I could get away with pretending to fall in..? It could happen!
When I first started I thought my whistle was going to be going mental the amount of time I had to blow it to warn my fellow lifeguards that I was 'taking action' and getting in the pool, in reality the only thing I use my whistle for is to stop people having fun. This includes almost anything vaguely fun related such as... standing up on floats, sitting on peoples shoulders or even a little bit of running! Its terrible! I'm not even allowed to swing my whistle any more, I always thought that was a key skill of being a lifeguard but apparently you are not allowed!
After such a long time with no incident it would be easy for me to get all complacent and stop watching or concentrating, it is of course very important that I don't do this, for obvious reasons. The difference is that if most people have a off day at work, they may not get as many figures crunched or words written, essentially no one is going to notice. The day I loose concentration at work someone could die! This keeps me alert I can tell you! Wouldn't it make you?
So sometimes when people as me what I do, I don't say lifeguard any more I say fun disturber its a more accurate job description!
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